You should not have to educate your therapist

Looking for a couples therapist can feel overwhelming. For many lesbian couples, there is an added layer of wondering whether you'll spend the first several sessions explaining your relationship instead of working on it.

My hope is that you won't have to.

Many lesbian couples tell me they've spent previous therapy sessions correcting assumptions or explaining dynamics that were interpreted through a heterosexual lens.

Sometimes a therapist worries that you're "too dependent" because you genuinely enjoy spending most of your free time together.

Sometimes they assume one of you is playing the "husband" role and the other the "wife" role.

Sometimes they overlook the impact of minority stress, family rejection, religious trauma, or the quiet exhaustion of feeling like your relationship has to be continually validated.

None of those conversations should become the focus of your therapy unless you want them to be.

We can begin where you actually are.

In addition to being trained in multiple couples therapy models I'm also married to my wife. Those aren't separate parts of my work. Together, they allow me to understand both the science of healthy relationships and many of the lived experiences that shape lesbian partnerships.

Your relationship deserves therapy that is thoughtful, evidence-based, and grounded in an understanding of your world. I get it.